So Hideous – Laurestine ALBUM REVIEW

Complete cheesefest. Goes for all the obvious chords at the obvious times, tries to maximizes it’s “epic” sound while only succeeding in sounding dull and uninspired. The more I listen to this wave of post-black that’s sweeping the hipster scene of it’s fair trade, hemp shoes, the more I’m getting to think the harder a band tries to be beautiful, the more they fail. That is certainly the case here. Music isn’t a formula, just because you technically hit all the theoretically right buttons, doesn’t mean it’s going to create the right result. And here the only result is a mess of major sevenths and misguided intentions.


3.75/10

Hypothermia – Svartkonst ALBUM REVIEW

I’m going to let ya’ll in on inside the mind of Electric Lizard here. One of the reason my reviews have gotten longer is because I’ve exercised my review muscles, sort of like how you’ll lift bigger and bigger weights, I write longer and longer reviews. The other however is because I’ve been taking notes while I listen to the album. My notes are typically about a third of the length of the actual review. So I’m going to give you an exclusive behind the scenes look at my notes for this album. Ready? Ok, here it goes.

“The drums are thin.”

That’s it. That is my entire notes for this album. This is not because I’m lazy or because I didn’t feel like writing anything. There just isn’t anything to write about this album. I often talk about how music is in stasis, and what I mean by that is that the music isn’t going anywhere, there’s no progression or flow, it just sort of jams on one area for the entire length. That’s what I feel about Svartkonst. Each song on the record just sits on one riff the entire time and then ends. There’s nothing to think or talk about, it’s just completely inoffensive in the lamest way possible. There’s not even any of the cheesy post metal chord progressions, it’s just… nothing. Like I’ve said this before, but that was before I really looked in depth in albums. I never actually thought I’d have to type this again. This isn’t even going to get a full review, I’m just going to give it a flat average rating and call it good.

Oh yeah and the drums are a little thin.


4/10

Dynfari – Vegferð tímans ALBUM REVIEW

Post-rock influenced anything has the potential to sound massively cheesy and generic, and this isn’t really that different. The main style of the album mostly doesn’t change, and is mostly just screaming over alt-metal-like chord progressions. What saves it from total mediocrity is that the last three tracks, Vegferd I-III, are actually really great, especially the first two, which is really the only point in the album where something different happens. But mostly this album is just going for your feels, like any post-rock, and you end up thinking “yeah, this is nice I guess, but I’ve already heard this before”. However I still would rate this album as above average, as it doesn’t really do anything particularly wrong other than not being very different.


6/10