Be’Lakor – Vessels

I’ve come to the conclusion that silence is actually more entertaining than this album. What does Vessels bring? Essentially massively watered down atmospheric melo death, that goes on for 55 minutes without a hint of imagination. Alright, what does silence bring? Well nothing musically, I’ll give it that. But assuming you didn’t have any external visual stimuli, like your computer, or a book, what do you do when you’re in complete silence? That’s right, you think. You think, and sometimes, you imagine (which is already doing more than this entire album). I would even say if the silence goes long enough, you almost exclusively imagine. So what do you imagine? Well I don’t know about you, but my default is naked people. Very attractive naked people. Not people having sex though, if you masturbate there won’t be silence, and being aroused with no way to relieve it is just not fun. So here’s your choice: you could spend almost an hour listening to an incredibly bland snoozefest that you will probably forget you’re even listening to while it’s still playing. Or you could think of naked people. Really hot naked people. As many naked people as you want. I know what my choice is.


4/10

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